Landon, Part 1,000,000

It feels like it, doesn't it? I hope I haven't bored you too much this week with my obsession with Landon's 5th birthday. Don't worry. This won't happen with every child at every birthday. There's just something about the 5th birthday that seems so big and special and monumental. Five seems to symbolize "boy" instead of "baby" or "toddler" or "preschooler". When I pick him up now his feet kind of go down to my ankles. He cares about what other people think. He's starting to eat a variety of foods. All of that just seems very big-boyish. Ok, on to the reason for this post....

This time 5 years ago, I was in labor. No, today is not Landon's birthday. Neither is tomorrow. I labored for FIFTY-TWO hours. So, this post is dedicated mainly to Landon in the hopes that one day he'll read it, then run to me with arms wide open and apologize for the pain he put me through. I'll hug him back but then request that he take me to Yamato Japanese Steakhouse to make up for my pain. He'll take me there, apologize some more, and then we'll be cool.

On April 2nd I began having contractions every 3-5 minutes. Nathan and I packed up the car and headed to the hospital. We got checked in, I put on my hospital gown, got attached to a million wires, saw the doctor, and found out I was not dilated. Not even a little bit. I got a shot to help with pain and was sent home.

The contractions continued all day on April 2nd. Every 3-5 minutes. My mom came into town and walked the neighborhood with me. We went to dinner that night and walked the mall. I bumped into my best friend, Heather, at the mall. We had a normal conversation. You know. "Hey, how's it going? I'm actually in labor right now. Can you buy me a milkshake?" I walked some more. That night around 8pm we went back to the hospital because my contractions were regular, closer, and I was in tremendous pain. We checked in, I was hooked up to loads of wires, and the doctor came in and checked me. No progress. Another shot and we were sent home. Again.

The next morning, April 3rd, I labored all day. I was absolutely miserable. Nathan's parents brought lunch to our house. They brought my absolute favorite meal, ESPECIALLY when I'm pregnant. 6 inch tuna sub from Subway with lettuce, cheese, pickles, oregano, and extra oil and vinegar. It was delicious. My grandparents stopped by on their way to the beach. That whole day (with the exception of the tuna sub) is kind of a blur to me because I was in so much pain. Around 8pm I told Nathan that I was one tough cookie but I could not take this pain anymore. Something was wrong. Why had I not dilated? We decided to go back to the hospital and I decided (without telling Nathan) that I was not leaving this time!!!

We got checked in. While getting hooked up to the millions of wires I informed the nurse that I better be dilated because I wasn't leaving. She checked me and said I was 1cm dilated so I could stay. (In hindsight, we think she lied about me being dilated. We think she was scared to send me home again because of what I might do to her.)

From that point on, things are pretty blurry for me. I remember getting an epidural and all of Nathan's family and my family popping in to say "hello". I remember Heather and Kevin coming in after I got an epidural so I was feeling really awesome but I made an awful face to pretend I was in a lot of pain. I remember the nurses giving me a drug to help me dilate more quickly and I remember the doctor breaking my water.

Finally, around 4:00am on April 4th, the pushing began! Ok, no one prepared me for that. Definitely the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I remember thinking, "How do women that don't exercise push out babies?" It took every muscle in my body to push that child out. For those of you who haven't pushed a baby out, just so you know, you do most of the pushing without a doctor in the room. The nurses deserve billions of dollars for all they do! So, around the time the doctor was supposed to come in the room, I was informed that he was called away to an emergency so a mid-wife would be delivering me. I think mid-wives are fantastic. I think there is a place for them. But the place for a midwife was not in my room and she realized that upon delivery. I won't go into details. But I needed a doctor. A lot of unexpected things happened at 4:25am on April 4th as I delivered my sweet Landon. For starters, my mom and husband about passed out and the nurses had to hand them each a wet washcloth. I really like to make fun of them for that. If you see either of them, please laugh and point a lot. Secondly, as soon as Landon came out the entire room gasped. He was massive. Nathan won't tell me all the details but I do know Landon was rushed over and given oxygen and taken for some tests. I am not a large person and I pushed out a 10 lb. 1 oz. child after 52 hours of labor. The mid-wife knew she did not have the skill-set to handle things from there (Let me just reiterate that I really did love her. I was just a rare case.) so she called in a doctor that helped take care of the damage that had been done. He told me my pain should decrease in 30 minutes. But my pain only increased. To the point where I was crying like a huge baby and maybe screaming a lot. Yep, Nathan just told me there was definitely a lot of screaming. (sidenote: If your name is Landon Trevett and you are reading this, this is the part where I really want the sympathy. This is the part where I want you to stop reading and make the reservations at Yamato.) The nurses could not figure out what was going on. My doctor was called back in and found that I had broken my tailbone. Did you read that, Landon? I broke a bone in my body delivering you! And then my life took a turn for the better. The morphine pump began. Ahhhh. Morphine. Lovely, lovely morphine. It made me talk really funny and not be able to hold things (like my newborn baby). Yep, Landon definitely fell out of my arms and my mom grabbed him for me.

And that's my labor/delivery story. After all of that, the doctors told me that labor is often longer with a bigger baby. Thanks, doc. I kind of figured.

Want to hear something sappy? My tailbone still gives me problems. It hurts to sit in the same spot for more than 30 minutes. And that has to happen a lot. But every time I feel that pain I'm reminded of the sweet giant I delivered on April 4, 2005 and it makes me smile. I absolutely can not wait to share with you my post on April 4th. Until then, have a lovely weekend!