Here's What REALLY Happened

So, I'm really bad about posting precious pictures from vacations, telling all the wonderfully happy parts and then pressing "Publish Post". I think a lot of moms are bad at that. I say "bad" because it leaves this false impression that the trip was wonderful, the kids were perfect, smiles were permanent, blah, blah, blah.

Well, this post isn't going to be full of all that junk. It's going to be filled with the real stuff. And my hope is you'll send out an "Amen" comment instead of a "I can't believe you did that!"

So, here's what's REALLY been happening on our vacation:

1. Monday night, my grandmother cooked the most delicious supper ever. Chicken casserole, field peas, fried squash, and shells 'n cheese. I made Landon eat it. Like I fed him while he made these horrible gagging noises. I told him to stop gagging. And I said it in a really mean voice. He threw up everything. I spanked him. Then I put a second helping of everything back on his plate and made him eat it all. And while this happened my grandmother made loud moans and groans hinting that I'm the meanest mommy ever. It was awesome.

2. Last night, we went to Johnny Rockets and I was sweating, tired, and trying to cram a double stroller through a tiny doorway into an non-airconditioned room. I yelled at Reagan to get out of the stroller. Then I started to fold up the stroller. A table slam full of adults yelled at me, "YOUR BABY IS STILL IN THE STROLLER!" I opened up the stroller, and there he was. Connor. Folded in half. Smiling his head off. But still. I folded up my baby in the stroller. Who does that?

3. I bought Landon some cotton candy last night and he stared and stared at me. He was shocked that I bought him something. That I actually did something nice for him. And I just had to laugh because it was kind of true. I've been the only parent this week (Nathan's not here with us) and it's hard and I'm mean.

4. I'm pretty sure every single picture I took this week has been preceded with, "If you don't smile, I'm going to send you to time-out" or "If you don't smile, I'm not going to take you to the arcade." Just ridiculous empty threats. All for a picture. I'm dumb.

When I come home, I'll post my pictures and you can giggle to yourself because you'll know what REALLY happened. Until then, I need to take a deep breath and also kind of laugh at what a terrible mommy I've been all week.