Connor's 18-month well visit

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CONNOR MAN! 18 MONTHS OLD!

How sad is that? The most recent picture I can find of him is one where's he's buried behind his big brother and sister. I have GOT to do better at taking pictures of him all by his lovely self. Drats.

So you'll remember that at his last well-visit (15 months old) it was discovered that I:
a. don't teach Connor words.
b. don't teach Connor body parts.
c. am doing better at feeding him.

You'll also remember that I covered my ears and acted like I didn't hear the doctor when she told me that I no longer had a newborn.

Today, I did much, much better.

Stats:
Height: Lots of inches (42%)....WOOHOO! Our kid's getting some height on him.
Weight: 22 lbs. 6 oz. (9%)....BOO! Our kid has not gained even an ounce in 3 months.
Head: 1,000,000 cm. (90%)....Go Connor! We think his huge noggin is the only reason his weight is up to 9%.

At this point, the doctor read his chart and it must have said something on the computer screen like, "Be really nice. This mom's a nutjob. She still thinks her toddler is a newborn. She cries at the drop of a hat. Encourage her. Tell her everything is ok. Lie if you have to."

Because the rest of the visit sounded like this.

Doctor: Do you have any concerns?
Me: Well, his weight. He's still not gaining weight.
Doctor: No worries. You are awesome.
Me: Oh, wow. Groovy. Ok. Next concern....he still can't speak any words. You fussed at me last time and I've been sweating all morning waiting to receive your punishment. What am I doing wrong?
Doctor: You're doing absolutely nothing wrong. My child didn't start speaking until he was 19 months old. You are really cool and pretty and I love your hair.
Me: Really? Wow. Thanks. This well-visit form that your nurse asked me to fill out said 18-month-olds should be saying 2-word phrases by now and so I just thought....
Doctor: Let me just interrupt you right now. You are a blessing to me. There is not a thing in the world you should do differently. You look in that mirror and you repeat after me, "I am gorgeous and I am the perfect mom."
Me: I am gorgeous and I am the perfect mom.
Doctor: It's true, you know.
Me: Gee, thanks.
Then, You're Just Too Good to be True started playing in the background.
Doctor: No prob. Now get your rockin' self out of my office. See you when your genius baby is two years old!
Me: Sweet!