To Do Lists

I think "To Do" lists are a good thing. I think having a plan is thoughtful and helps promote peace in the workplace, in organizations, and in the family.

But clinging to a plan too tightly can lead to:

1. Guilt (when the plan isn't completed) and
2. Missed opportunities (when an interruption occurs but you ignore it)

There have been many, many times when I've written a To Do List and at the end of the day, less than half of the items have been checked off. I feel like a failure. GUILT.

And there have also been days when I've let no one and nothing stop me from getting my list completed. Even if one of my children asked me to play outside. Even if my husband asked me to sit with him on the couch. I told them "no" and kept on going 100 mph trying to get everything done. MISSED OPPORTUNITIES.

But here's the thing: When I think back on the days I felt guilty for not getting my list completed, when I go over every aspect of my day, I realize THOSE were the days that I got the MOST accomplished. It might not be a physical change. My house might still look like a warzone. But maybe because Reagan and I spent 30 uninterrupted minutes on the floor talking about books and the color pink and God and string cheese and her freckles and dance and castles and soccer, her heart is full.

And just this week, this truth hit me like a ton of bricks: What might seem like an interruption to ME, may have actually been on someone ELSE'S "To Do" list. When I was a classroom teacher, there were a handful of times when MY "To Do" list included unloading to my boss about my very hard day. I would walk into her office at the end of a long day and spend 15-20 minutes just talking (sometimes crying) about the challenges of my day. That certainly wasn't on her list of things to do. But she embraced the interruption, listened, talked, and comforted me.

One day last week, instead of making a "To Do" list, I made a list of every single thing I did. At the end of the day is was over two pages long. It was a simple exercise, but a great reminder that a lot gets done over the course of a day, even if it is unexpected. And even if it's not something you can see.

What's on your list? And how do you handle the interruptions?

Maybe you have an employee who's in pain. You have a project due but maybe she needs a listening ear more than you need to finish that project.

Maybe you have a roommate who needs help studying for a test. Shopping is on your list of things to do, but maybe helping her study tonight is what really matters.

Maybe your lesson plan book is perfectly typed up and filled in for the remainder of the year. But your students don't understand what you taught yesterday. Maybe your students need you to teach them more than you need to teach the lesson plan.

Maybe your child wants you to read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the 45th time in a row. It might not have been on YOUR list, but it was on HERS.

Maybe your husband needs some quality time with you. And maybe quality time for you means, "Please hang this heavy mirror" but for him it might mean something else.

Make a plan. Make a good plan. One that really matters. One that is not only filled with doing STUFF, but also filled with loving and encouraging others.

And make the most of the interruptions. Because just because it wasn't on YOUR list, doesn't mean it wasn't on THEIRS.

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." -Jim Elliot

Tidbits from our Week

1. Landon scored two points in his basketball game. Nothing but net. I screamed like he'd just won the Nobel Peace Prize.

2. Reagan asked me if my wrinkles hurt.

3. My mom spent all day Tuesday with me!

4. I got retainers on Wednesday and a bunch of people asked me to say words that have the letter "s" in them. Some of the best ones are "excuses", "satisfaction", and the entire hymn "Standing on the Promises".

5. Reagan asked me why I slobber so much. ("Slobber" is another fun word to say with retainers.)

6. Connor learned to point to his belly.

7. I became obsessed with spaghetti squash.

8. I thanked Nathan for disliking pets as much as I do and we reminded each other to never get one. Yes, I know we're weird and most people love animals. Blah, blah, blah. I don't care. We don't.

Public Service Announcement

In 2010, I pretended I was a 90-year-old. I got kidney stones and a gallbladder removed and I got assigned to a urologist. Pretty sure only 90-year-olds do that. At least those were the only people in the doctor's office every single time I was there.

Apparently, 2011 is the year for me to pretend to be a 13-year-old. Because I got 2 retainers yesterday and got a "talking to" from the orthodontist about how to take care of my retainers by doing things like not boiling them and not leaving them near dogs. I'm for real. He said, "Do not leave your retainers near dogs." I was like, "Dude, I'm 31 years old. I've got 3 kids. I have a bunch of degrees and stuff. I think I can handle not leaving my retainers near dogs." And he was like, "No, you're a 13-year-old. Because you just got retainers. 13-year-olds get retainers." And I was like, "Touche." And he was like, "Wait. 13-year-olds don't use words like 'touche'. They use words like 'sweet'." So then I was like, "Sweet."

So, here's my PSA to all the teenage followers of my blog:

When you get your braces and then you get them removed two years later, don't get all prideful. Wear your retainers. Because if you don't, you'll eventually turn 31 and your teeth will be out of whack and you'll have to go back to the orthodontist and get retainers. And it will hurt. And you will talk funny. And people will look at you weird. And you'll get tons of saliva in your mouth all the time. And people will think you're 13.

Tip of the Week

If your 3-year-old is in the bathtub and she says she needs to go potty, take her potty. Right then. Don't wait. Don't continue to straighten your 1-year-old's room. Go get your 3-year-old and put her on the potty. Because if you don't, you'll soon hear your 5-year-old yell, "SHE POOPED IN THE BATHTUB!!!!!" and you'll walk in and you'll see two really huge poops in the bathtub and you'll throw up in your mouth.

Steps to the Perfect Lemonade Stand

Step #1: Make a sign.


Step #2: Wear your Gamecock jersey assuming that mostly Gamecock fans will come to your lemonade stand because you live in Columbia, SC, home of the GAMECOCKS!!!!


Step #3: Count your money and realize you've only made $3.00. Consider taking off your Gamecock jersey so as not to offend Clemson fans in the hopes that you'll sale more lemonade. But decide not to because you don't much care about offending Clemson fans.


Step #4: Call on your favorite superhero for help and, together, conquer that lemonade stand!

A Brand New Labor Day!

For a whole bunch of years, we've had the same Labor Day tradition:
1. Drive to Chapin Labor Day Festival.
2. Park a kajillion miles away and walk to parade.
3. Sit in 100 degree weather and tell the kids we're sorry they can't see anything because there are mounds of people in front of us.
4. Fight crowds to buy a burger.
5. Sit with whiny kids and threaten them that if they don't hurry up and eat we won't be able to pay $1,000 to slide down a huge blown up treehouse thing.
6. Walk a kajillion miles back to car sweating and miserable.
7. Go home and ask ourselves why we did that.


This year we decided to try something new. We headed to Flat Rock, NC to check out SkyTop Orchard. It was peaceful. It wasn't crowded. We wore sweaters! We went on a hayride and saw animals and ate apple doughnuts and drank apple cider and bought jalapeno pepper jelly! It was pure bliss and got me super excited about Fall!

Probably way too graphic....

Reagan has been having some issues so this morning I took her to the doctor. On the way, I prepared Landon that her private parts were bothering her and we needed to make sure everything was ok. I prepared him because he's like the best brother ever and he worries about her if she's sick.

Ok, so we get to the doctor's office. Life is good. Connor's being the man. Reagan and Landon are playing beautifully in the big waiting room. I'm thinking about how much I rock as a mom.

The waiting room door opens and out walks our sweet, reserved, extremely polite nurse.

Nurse: Reagan! Time to go!

Landon: HEY NURSE!! MY SISTER'S PENIS IS SICK!!!!!!!

A billion moms and dads and children look at me. Awesome.

Planning, Needs, and Peace....The Finale

This last post in this series of ways I strive for peace in our family is just a random, mish-mash of ideas. I hope you'll find a few of them helpful and encouraging.

1. Finances- Nathan and I have a budget that we monitor regularly. An incredible website we recently found is www.mint.com. We are both math people and love working with numbers but the website is super simple to use. It breaks down every line item in our budget and lets us know exactly how much we've spent in each category.

2. Days of the Week Clothes Organizer Thingie- I don't know what you call it but it's awesome. I have one in Reagan's room and one in Landon's room. It hangs in their closets and is divided into compartments labeled Monday thru Friday. Each Sunday, I just stick an outfit in each bin and they're set for the week. I ordered mine from a Lillian Vernon catalog. It prevents meltdowns and keeps me accountability for when I need to do laundry. It's a good thing.

3. Friends- It's a little bit ridiculous how awesome my friends are. I think I picked the best ones. Playdates. Coffee. Dinner. Supper Club. Book Club. Far Away Phone Call Friends. Former Co-Worker Friends. YMCA Friends. Ahhhhh. Friends are fun. And Nathan's the bomb-diggity at holding down the fort while I party hard with my friends (a.k.a. Meeting at Cracker Barrel at 4:30pm for supper.) Their encouragement and laughter helps my loo-loo brain function more peacefully.

4. Take a bath. Make sure you add bubbles and a little bit of color. I'm a fan of blue water. And make it really hot. So hot that when you get out your entire backside is bright red.

5. Television- I only let my kids watch television on Fridays. I am not saying I think television is the bad. I'm not saying I don't let them watch it at other people's houses. And you better believe if we're sick or it's Christmas time (Who can resist "Charlie Brown Christmas?"), or it's a lazy weekend, or "Minute to Win It" is on we're going to be watching some shows! But for our little family, it helps bring peace and provides us with more time. I've just noticed that, especially with our oldest child, watching television correlates with a bad attitude and a lack of consideration for others' needs. I've also noticed a lack of focus throughout the day if he's watched television earlier. And, quite frankly, it's just noisy and I've got enough noise going on in the house. I hesitated to post this one because there are loads of families who allow television and their children are doing beautifully. I think it really depends on the children and the needs of the family. I only threw this suggestion out here on the blog because it has helped our family.

Some powerful verses on peace:

"Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace- don't let it get away!" (Ps. 34:14)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentless, and self-control." (Gal. 5:22-23a)

The Message translates Gal. 5:22-23 this way:

"But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard- things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way of life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."

Have a beautiful, purposeful, peaceful week!

Planning, Needs, and Peace....Creating a Schedule

I took a picture of our family's schedule and was going to share it. But I don't think that would really help anyone. I'm not you and you're not me. Our schedule changes every couple of months based on the needs of our family. So, instead, I'm going to share why and how I create a schedule.

I create a schedule to provide protected time for what really matters.

When I was in graduate school, I studied under THE Dr. Diane Stephens. The central idea of every class was "what really matters" in the area of teaching and learning. I'm pretty sure I wrote down every word she ever said. She had no clue who I was because I never once opened my mouth. I was reeeeeeeeally intimidated by her because I was a 21-year-old girl who had strong metacognition so I knew very well what I didn't know. And what I didn't know was every single thing that she did know and that made me scared. She taught me to think about what really matters for learners and to only spend time on that. Everything else gets the boot.

Similarly, I think about what really matters when planning a schedule for our family. (Sidenote: I apologize for all the analogies to teaching. I'm a little bit addicted to teaching and learning and I often use this blog to go on and on about my beliefs about the two.)

So, when I'm creating a schedule for our little family this is what goes on in my mind and on paper. First, I make a list of what matters and/or time I want to protect.

It Matters To Me That:

1. I have time alone each morning to prepare for the day.

2. I have a quiet time.

3. My kids are clean, dressed, and fed.

4. I exercise.

5. My husband and I have time together in the evenings with no kids around.

6. My husband has quality time with the children.

7. Our family eats dinner together as often as possible.

8. We eat lunch with Nathan and his parents once a week.

9. I read to the kids and alongside the kids for an extended period of time.

10. We read the Bible and memorize scripture.

11. I spend focused play/talk time with each child each day.

12. The kids play without me.

13. The kids go to bed at the same time every night and sleep in their own bed.

14. I take Landon to and from school each day.

15. I have time with my accountability partner twice a month.

16. I serve others (other than the ones living under our roof).

17. Nathan has time with his friends.

18. We make time to keep a clean and organized home.

19. I sleep 8 hours a night.

20. I talk with my parents every day.

Then, I take that list and figure out ways to protect the time it takes to engage in those things.

Ok, so here are some examples:

#1 says, "It matters to me that I have time alone each morning to prepare for the day." For our family, that means our kids are not allowed to get up before 7:00am. Landon can tell time so he knows when he can come downstairs. Reagan knows she has to wait for Landon to get her up. And Connor is still sleeping so that's not an issue. You may think that's a weird rule but it's provided loads of peace for our family in the mornings. I like to be up, dressed, and finished with breakfast by the time the kids wake up. It makes a huge difference in the flow of our morning.

#17 says, "It matters to me that Nathan has time with his friends." For our family, that means that every Monday night, he plays basketball with the guys. (That also means that every Monday night I get to watch the Food Network and catch up on Rachael Ray episodes. It's awesome.)

#13 says, "It matters to me that the kids go to bed at the same time every night and sleep in their own bed." For our family, that means 8:00pm. It means we tuck them in, walk out of their room, and close their door. It means they are not allowed to come out of their room after we tuck them in unless they want to get in major trouble and hear a really long speech about how Mommy and Daddy are each other's best friends and we aren't going to be interrupted. (I say it in a mean voice with my left eyebrow looking all mean and Nathan has his arms crossed. It's not pretty.)

And that's how I think through creating our schedule. It's really fluid because our needs and the needs of others are constantly changing. Our summers look different. When I am working outside of the home, it looks really different. As the children grow older, it will look different. But the process will always be the same......thinking through and finding time to protect what really matters so it's never replaced with yucky stuff that doesn't.

Planning, Needs, and Peace.....Meal Planning

One way I strive hard for peace in our home is by meal planning. Every good plan starts with a vision. My vision for our family is that we eat our meals together, we eat what I prepare, I prepare one meal (I'm not a waitress....I'm not taking orders), and we stay within our budget. I have found a way to meal plan that works best for me. For other moms, they have a better system. But during this season of my life, with 3 kids ages 5 and under, this is what is working for us. Here is what I use:

1. A Shopping List

(I like this one b/c it has a magnet on the back that fits nicely on my fridge.)

2. A Weekly Pad of Paper

(This one is from Target's dollar spot. It, too, is magnetic and I am in love.)

Here it is stuck to my fridge.

Here's how I execute:

1. Every Sunday afternoon I open The State newspaper and cut coupons. I file them in my coupon organizer. Then, I go to www.couponmom.com and print out more coupons.

2. I get out my Weekly Pad of Paper and a pen.

3. After looking through my coupons, the Publix Buy One Get One Free items, and investigating our pantry and freezer, I write down our meals for Monday through Sunday on my Weekly Pad of Paper.

4. I get out my Shopping List pad and write down every grocery item I need to buy.

5. I get out the coupons that go with my grocery items and put them in a little pile.

6. HERE'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF MY EXECUTION: Every Sunday night at 7:30pm, I go grocery shopping. WITHOUT MY KIDS. Nathan stays home with them, gets them bathed, read to, and in bed. This is a very purposeful part of my plan. If my kids come, I end up buying more or leaving something off my list or getting too distracted to notice the clearance items. So, my rule is no kids. At least at the ages they are now. I know this part of the execution is impossible for some moms if husbands work late or if it is a single parent situation. In that case, I have a dear friend who does her grocery shopping online. Another friend of mine has a neighbor watch her kids while she grocery shops.

7. When I get home I lay all my groceries out and ask Nathan to guess how much I spent and how much I saved. I know. NERD. This is not a requirement. It's just plain fun.

And meal planning is done. Everyday I know what our meal will be that evening. It's posted for the kids to see. Knowing ahead of time what we will have for dinner and having all the ingredients bought and ready for cooking brings loads of predictability, organization and extra time to our little family.

Planning, Needs, and Peace

My friend, Jennifer, is a dental hygienist. To do her job well, she has to plan well. To plan well, she has to know her patients well. Before her patients arrive, she cleans her equipment and lays it out neatly. She washes her hands. If her patient is a child, she pulls out the flavored toothpaste. If her patient hasn't been to a dentist in 10 years, she allots extra time to clean his teeth. If her patient has allergies, she checks and re-checks the products she is using. If her patient is pregnant, she does not give x-rays. This takes thoughtful planning and she's a planner. Thank goodness. Good planning, based on the needs of her patients, results in a productive, peaceful environment.

Effective teachers do the same thing. They plan well based on the needs of the learners in their care. They provide a peaceful and loving learning environment with predictability and organization. Their days with students are filled learning, talking, and thinking together. Each day is purposeful and meaningful. And to do that, effective teachers have to know the students and their families very well. It takes hard work, careful planning and meticulous analysis of their needs.

In this season of life, I am a stay-at-home mother of 3 young children and a wife to a busy husband. Although I am not currently a full-time teacher, my role is very much the same. I am working hard to provide a peaceful and loving environment in my home. I am a purposeful planner. I know my kids and my husband very well. Our days are filled learning, talking, and thinking together. And that takes careful planning. It's hard work. But it produces peace and goodness.

Just as being an effective dental hygienist or teacher doesn't just "happen", neither does being an effective wife and mother. Over the next several days I will spend some time sharing with you very practical ways I plan so that our little family grows together and experiences peace in our home.